Hasbro must die

I have been playing online games for quite a while now. And obviously, some of them do close down from time to time. Normally when that happens, I simply shrug my shoulders and then go surf some porn.

So it was rather out of character for me then that, when news of Bogglific’s closure reached my horrified eyes, I lay down and had a good weep. I simply adore this game. First, it’s a word game which automatically makes it fun. But more importantly, there’s a rating system which ranks your score against that of every other player (I was 92nd out of 41,000 at the time of closure) meaning that you constantly have the urge to get better and better and better. In fact, the only thing I can think of that could possibly be more addictive would be snorting cocaine off Jessica Alba’s naked body.

Unfortunately, Hasbro has decided to stick its nose into things. It claims that Bogglific violates copyright over the original Boggle rules and that therefore it must be squashed. Roger Nesbitt, the developer of Bogglific, for whom I have the utmost non-sexual love, posted this on the Bogglific page a few days ago:

“I’m no lawyer, and can’t see how it violates copyright. But I have neither the time nor the money to fight this, and Facebook has given me a grace period of 48 hours to shut the application down voluntarily.”

Clearly, this is a tragedy. With Bogglific gone and Miss Alba apparently busy being pregnant, I have been left twiddling my thumbs. By now, you might be thinking: “Ah, so that’s why the fool hasn’t blogged in three months.” And I would have to politely point out that you’d be right.

But that’s beside the point. What really irks me is this. For a company that developed Scrabble and Boggle, two games that no one has been able to better in almost 60 years, Hasbro is incredibly shortsighted. It is obvious that the web is the next step in bringing these games to the masses. It is even more obvious that when someone’s already done the pesky programming and even the marketing for you in some way, you don’t go and step on their throats.

Surely, Hasbro’s marketing department could’ve come up with a way of using these online variations to their benefit. Advertising, licensing, subscriptions, a world Bogglific championship event. If nothing else, at least they’d gain the goodwill of the (rather sizeable) playing community. Perhaps, the folks at Hasbro should be sent for this seminar. At least they’d learn a thing or two.

Thankfully though, Bogglific might yet be saved. A petition has been launched and it seems there’ll be an announcement on Bogglific’s fate on the 24th of this month. Till then, I’ll just have to make do with Noggin’.

This will ruin your life

Devilishly simple yet hard as a stripper’s behind. I have spent almost the whole of today watching balls expand and only achieved a miserly score of 15. I suggest you do the same.

Read all this stuff first before you start. And I’d keep the next two weeks on my calendar free if I were you.

Forget Lambos and big penises.

What will get you the women is cuteness. Such as this video right here. Show it to any unsuspecting female and she will immediately be filled with an irresistible urge to bear you children.

However, should she be a particularly hardy specimen, do not start whipping out diamond rings, car keys and all that sort of thing. Instead, the only gem you should show her should be this. No woman has been exposed to that and not demanded to be inseminated forthwith.

Since YouTube, I have had more than 500 women.

Cat chases bear up tree

I don’t know why but this picture and story just got me right in the spleen. I now have sutures down both sides of my body.

It’s probably because I have a cat and a tiny white bear (that just happens to look like a dog) which gets chased around quite often by said cat. And this whole role reversal thing just makes for a great cat food ad.

Colbert Interview

For Stephen Colbert fans, I richly recommend this interview. The interviewer is a bit stiff though. Shame.

Noodle Nazi

The famous Soup Nazi as portrayed in Seinfeld. Well, I think I just found the noodle Nazi in Singapore.

Was feeling hungry during tea break and decided to get some lor mee at the canteen near my office (and yes, Joel, I’m still eating my lor mee with bee hoon). After she prepared the order, I proceeded to pay, and then added the chopped garlic that usually accompanies it. I didn’t want to overdo it, so just added a smidgin. The hawker then said “You must put it daringly”, to which i replied “It’s enough”. (Note: the conversation happened entirely in Mandarin). She then reached out, picked up the garlic spoon, and said “I help you put”, after which she scooped a huge tablespoon of garlic and plopped it into my bowl. This was followed by another spoonful of chopped spring onions, and then an attempt to add fried shallots, which i managed to turn down. Being the courteous Singaporean that I am, I thanked her and walked off to my seat before she could garnish my lor mee any more.

At my seat, I recounted what happened to my colleagues before tucking it. It tasted quite good actually, but that’s because I kinda like chopped garlic. I can imagine someone being totally turned off by the sheer amount she added to my bowl. After one mouthful, I decided that it needed more vinegar. So i brought my spoon back to the stall to get some. The girl who was behind me has just gotten her order of laksa and the stallholder offered to add Laksa leaf to her bowl. The girl rejected her offer, but alas, the response was “you must add this, it’s nice”. And she promptly spooned out a full teaspoon of Laksa leaf into the poor girl’s bowl. While all that was happening, I managed to get the vinegar I needed and escaped before I was offered anything else. I have never seen a hawker so eager to garnish everyone’s noodles at her own expense. I must attempt to make her say “No noodles for you” one day.

Funny

My sides were rent asunder by this .

Steve Irwin (1962 – 2006)

Earlier this afternoon, Steve Irwin was killed in a freak accident while filming. He was 44.

I remember that when I first saw Steve Irwin on TV, I found him comical almost to the point of being irritating. He had the heaviest Aussie accent I’d ever heard and it didn’t help that he had to go “Crikey” every now and then. But then I saw him tackle crocodiles, snakes, spiders and lions – basically any animal that you and I would do well to steer clear of – and I found myself hooked because every time I turned on the TV, I’d be wondering “Crikey, what’s he gonna do now?”

Adding to the entertainment was the fact that, for a crocodile hunter, Steve Irwin wasn’t agile by any stretch of the imagination. I remember an episode where he jumped on top of a croc only to end up looking more like a hapless koala perched on an angry tree with teeth and claws than a trained wildlife expert. And the time he went thrashing after a snake in the marshlands and succeeded only in single-handedly displacing the entire river. But what Steve Irwin lacked in bodily grace, he more than made up for with his enthusiasm. There was the trademark bear stance he adopted when circling snarling crocs, that glint in his eye that the camera would catch ever so often and, of course, the way he could rattle off obscure facts about each and every animal he encountered while simultaneously keeping out of harm’s way.

In Steve Irwin, the world had its Crocodile Hunter and it’s almost impossible to believe that such a torrent of passion and zeal could be so irrevocably silenced. Perhaps that’s why I and countless others are so saddened by his passing. In his own way, he’d touched us all.

So here’s to you, Steve. Who’d have thought that catching crocodiles could mean so much?

If nothing else, your ad should at least be funny.

So cheers to whoever wrote this little gem and got away with it.

Via Adrants. Here’s the permalink.

An Interview with Dr Chee

Oftentimes, Dr Chee Soon Juan comes across as a raving lunatic. But this interview reveals his philosophy and his concerns about Singapore’s future, many of which are very valid. Whether or not Singaporeans will warm to his brand of politics remains to be seen but surely one has to respect his dedication to the cause. I certainly see him in a different light now, even if I still don’t think he should be quite as confrontational.

P.S. I don’t know how long this article will stay free but I have a soft copy which I’ll gladly mail to anyone interested.